Hey, you! Yeah, you. Are you a) obscenely rich, and b) one of those people that always has to rush out and buy the latest and greatest Macs because you weren't hugged enough as a child? Well, then, have we got news for you! First of all, we (and by "we" we mean those of us still puttering along on ancient Power Computing equipment) hate you and wish you would die-- but not before leaving us all of your Mac gear in your will. Secondly-- and this is the part that may have been less obvious-- it's time to bust out the checkbook again, because Apple is now shipping the 800 MHz dual-processor Power Mac G4, the fastest Mac ever made. At $3499, it's a bargain at twice the price. Buy two: one for the breakfast nook, and one for the online Apple-themed soap opera of your choice. Please?

That's right; according to an Apple press release, today marks the date that the first "ultrafast Power Mac™ G4 computer containing dual 800 MHz PowerPC G4 processors with Velocity Engine™" (whew, try fitting that on the side of the box!) left Apple's doorstep to wing its way towards a lucky customer. This fact is remarkable and impressive for two reasons. Firstly, Steve originally told us that the dual-800 model wouldn't ship until sometime in August; considering that there are still eleven days left in the month, we'd say Apple deserves a round of applause for meeting that deadline and then some. (We won't even hold it against Steve that the 867 MHz model was announced back on July 18th as "available today," which, as buyers of said model can tell you, was a little less than accurate on the shipment forecast front.)

Secondly, and this is the really impressive bit, despite the fact that Apple just started shipping the dual-800s today, stores and customers report having received them as early as the middle of last week; benchmarks from one customer's system have been posted on Mac Rumors since Saturday evening, and Accelerate Your Mac! has comments and benchmarks from a dealer who received an initial shipment of the dual-processor powerhouses last Wednesday.

Shipments arriving five days before they depart? Now that's "special delivery!" And you thought Einstein Express was just a Saturday Night Live spoof. Here's hoping the new Macs are as fast as the service Apple's using to deliver them; if so, we're going to have to go into hock to get one of these things for our production center. If we had a Mac that let us produce an episode in negative five days' time, maybe we'd actually stand a chance of broadcasting on time for a change. But probably not.