Well, here we were, all set for a juicy true tale of Mac weirdness to end this latest news lull. After all, we had certainly primed the pump, entreating Cupertino-area AtAT fans to don rainbow wigs and offer Steve Jobs a stick of gum as he attempted to gain entry to his car; heck, we figured probably at least three or four people might have taken us up on it, and we'd have the added luxury of being able to tell you about a whole stinkin' mob of rainbow-wigged, gum-waving psychos descending upon poor Steve and giving him Dali-esque nightmares for the rest of his natural life. Imagine our crushing disappointment, then, when we discovered that a Google News search for "jobs rainbow gum stalker" turned up absolutely zippo. Nada. What, none of you could scrape together a pack of gum? Geez, thanks a lot. We're just thankful that News Drought Relief has arrived in another, albeit lamer, form. (No thanks to you.)

And by lamer news we mean promos, promos, PROMOS!! Zillions of 'em, winging their way in from Cupertino like so many flying monkeys swooping at Dorothy's head. Poking around Apple's site in the wee hours this morning unearthed all sorts of nifty ways in which to save a few bucks on both hardware and software, so if you're the thrifty type, listen up. You may even save enough for a rainbow wig and a pack of Juicy Fruit. Ingrates.

Okay, bitterness on hold startinnnnnng NOW. First up is "Double Your Memory," which is pretty self-explanatory: buy any Mac (except for the 256 MB iBook, on which the RAM can't be doubled, but appropriate savings on a 640 MB configuration apply) by the end of the year, and doubling the base RAM will only cost you $40. Amazingly enough, that actually sounds like a pretty good deal. Reasonably-priced RAM from Apple? Okay, maybe this is bigger news than we originally thought.

Next up is "Lights, Camera, Action!" This one's perhaps slightly less universal in its appeal than cheap RAM in any Mac, but it's still a nice promo for the cinematically-minded out there: buy any digital video camera from the online Apple Store, and you'll save at least $50 (on the entry-level JVC GR-DVL120U) and possibly as much as $500 (on the top-of-the-line Canon XL-1S). Perfect for you budding Spielbergs out there.

Lastly, we've got one that's just about as esoteric in its appeal as it gets: Apple's "Shake/Maya" promo-- what, no cutesy name?-- is for "Serious Visual Effects Artists Only" (others attempting to take advantage of this offer will be beaten to within an inch of their lives and left in a ditch in New Jersey) and offers customers up to three grand off on Apple's recently-acquired compositing software Shake if they can provide a valid serial number for the equally-high-end 3D software Maya Complete or Maya Unlimited. Spend a bundle to save a (smaller) bundle.

Actually, we'd swear we thought we'd seen one more new promo called "Power Couple" which offered $200-400 off on Power Macs and PowerBooks when purchased together with any Apple display larger than 17 inches, but it's worth mentioning that we hallucinate these days. A lot. And since at broadcast time there was no Power Couple offer listed on Apple's Promo page, we're going to have to assume that 1) Apple slipped and temporarily posted details on a promo that wasn't yet live; 2) we're psychic and experiencing spookily accurate visions of the future which, unfortunately, have nothing to do with tomorrow night's lottery numbers; or 3) we're just completely stark raving loony with sleep loss. Interpret as you see fit, and note that even if a "Power Couple" promo indeed does surface soon, that still doesn't rule out option #3.

So there you have it: more promos than you can shake a stick at, Okay, so it's no rainbow-wigged gum-offerer in the parking lot, but until somebody gets their act together, well, it's the best we can do.