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"One Of Us! One of Us!" (10/11/02)
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It's one of the worst-kept secrets in the Mac universe: Apple is silently killing off various anti-Mac pundits and replacing them with far more receptive pod people that are otherwise indistinguishable from the real deal. The classic example is, of course, David Coursey, whose total reversal of opinion on the Macintosh way of life started off slowly, but the results are now so complete, faithful viewer Will informs us that the former Windoid is posting articles with titles like "Why I (Still) Just Love My iMac" and is actually spending his vacation time-- get this-- "writing a book for would-be switchers, intended in part to help them make the right choice." So the plan is working, and sources tell us that the only reason Apple hasn't replaced noted Mac-hater John Dvorak yet is because they're having a really hard time creating anything this scary looking in the cloning lab. But they're trying really hard.
In the meantime, fear not, because while Dvorak remains his crusty ol' Mac-bashing self, Apple's pod people conversion initiative continues apace with John's other PC Magazine cohorts. At least, we can only assume so, since that traditionally Mac-hostile (or, at least, non-Mac-aware) publication is getting decidedly giddy about Apple's gear these days. Take, for example, PC Magazine's review of the Xserve, which grants the server a four-out-of-five rating and positively drips with kudos-- "a great OS," "so easy that it actually confused us," "it really can do almost everything." C'mon, they actually refer to a piece of Apple hardware as a "well-appointed and economical server solution" and note that it's cheaper than a similarly tricked-out Dell. You mean to tell us that's not the result of pod person infiltration?
Well, if you need further proof, look no further than PC Magazine's Editor's Choice for Consumer Desktops. Hint: it ain't no stinkin' Presario. Yes, the iMac stole the show, which we assume has Mr. Dvorak wondering just what is up with his colleagues these days-- why they're so gung-ho for Apple's products, and why they're always drinking so much water without ever going to the bathroom.
So fret not, true believers, because it's only a matter of time before Dvorak, too, is replaced by a Mac-loving alien clone facsimile. We'll know it's happened when "John" appears in public carrying an original "girly" Tangerine iBook like an oversized clutch purse...
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 10/11/02 episode: October 11, 2002: Apple unleashes more promos than you can comfortably fit in your pants. Meanwhile, PC Magazine has evidently been assimilated into Apple's alien clone pod people program, and for the first time anywhere, we reveal the secret to buying a $40 iBook...
Other scenes from that episode: 3774: Yeah, Promo THIS, Buddy (10/11/02) Well, here we were, all set for a juicy true tale of Mac weirdness to end this latest news lull. After all, we had certainly primed the pump, entreating Cupertino-area AtAT fans to don rainbow wigs and offer Steve Jobs a stick of gum as he attempted to gain entry to his car; heck, we figured probably at least three or four people might have taken us up on it, and we'd have the added luxury of being able to tell you about a whole stinkin' mob of rainbow-wigged, gum-waving psychos descending upon poor Steve and giving him Dali-esque nightmares for the rest of his natural life... 3776: The Amazing $40 iBook (10/11/02) Since real news is still somewhat scarce around here these days, we thought we'd take a moment and expand upon our previous hints on how to score a free iPod; today's Super Penny-Pincher Thrifty Tip widens the scope a little, and instead of telling you how to cram one or more thousand songs in your pocket without spending a dime, it will reveal to you how you can get your hands on an iBook for just forty bucks. That's right: forty smackers, and you can own Apple's best-selling consumer portable to do with as you please...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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