Another weekend, another Apple retail store or three. If you're down with the happening happenings, you already knew that Apple was launching three new locations over the weekend: Southdale in Edina, Minnesota; Keystone in Indianapolis; and Fashion Show in fabulous Las Vegas (where faithful viewer ManiACal Mike showed up to the party in tremendous style). If you made it to any of those opening gala events, we can only hope you're not too hung over this Monday morning to make a respectable contribution to the workforce. (You've got responsibilities, buster, so suck it up.)

Actually, on second thought, if you have to drag your ass around the office for a couple more days while you recuperate, that's okay-- the important thing is that you get back into tip-top shape for next weekend's celebrations. The last thing we want is bedraggled, overworked office drones showing up to the new stores at Menlo Park in Edison, NJ or the King of Prussia mall in Pennsylvania-- both of which are slated for grand openings on this coming Saturday the 9th, according to Apple's retail page. King of Prussia, in particular, is going to need some well-rested attendees, because it's the long-awaited first Apple boutique in Pennsylvania, and therefore the partying come Saturday is likely to take on epic proportions. Drink a lot of fluids and bring a designated driver.

And whatever you do, don't inflict any damage on yourself that'll take more than a week to wear off, because there are undoubtedly going to be more opening shindigs on the 16th. Remember, during its earnings conference call last month, Apple said it wanted to open ten more stores by Thanksgiving, and by our (possibly ridiculously inaccurate) count, there are still four more to go after the two coming up on Saturday. We assume those four will form a subset of the five locations listed as "Coming Soon" on the retail page-- and since faithful viewer Sheik Yerbouti informs us that the Knox Street store in the Dallas area is still at the "construction workers and bare girders" stage, we'd have to guess that the Emeryville, Pasadena, Oak Brook, and Denver stores are next up to party down. So stay limber.