Okay, we're going to have to start getting sick on purpose a few times a year, because it just never fails: when we're fighting to keep our heads above a rising tide of mucus (or we're otherwise unable to broadcast, because we're dealing with, say, a wedding or a newborn or an out-of-control hyperdimensional snake infestation), that's when all the drama comes seeping out of the woodwork. Take, for example, the long-dormant Teen Switcher Intrigue plot: the last significant event took place months ago, when Ellen Feiss and Hamilton Morris declared Jeremiah Cohick to be their nemesis, and we posited that Jeremiah might need to join forces with newcomer Alex Schoknecht in order to ward off a joint Feiss-Morris attack.

Well, evidently said Marvel Team-up never happened, because the MacObserver reports that Cohick wrapped up Macworld Expo last week with what should have been a relaxing aerial tour of San Francisco-- except that the helicopter in which he was flying sort of, um, crashed. And not in the "kernel panic" sense of the word, but rather in the "flames, screaming, lives cut tragically short as searing chunks of twisted metal turn flesh into hamburger" sense of the word. Well, okay, no, not quite that sense of the word either, since, according to Cohick's own weblog, thanks to a water landing and the competent attention of the U.S. Coast Guard, the crash didn't actually involve grievous mayhem so much as a mild scare and a complete and total lack of injury.

Now, while some of you may suspect otherwise, despite our reliance on a steady stream of melodrama to keep the Apple turning over here, we swear that we were relieved-- rather than disappointed-- to learn that Jeremiah escaped said incident with nary a scratch. That's because we here at the AtAT compound are all enlightened and peace-loving individuals who wish harm upon no living creature (except perhaps a couple of individuals in Redmond, and even then we're only talking about small potatoes stuff like dandruff and maybe chronic jock itch). Of course, there's also the teensy little fact that Cohick's survival guarantees ensuing drama far more satisfying than if he had simply gone foom.

Think about it: Jeremiah clearly never took the threat of the Feiss-Morris alliance seriously, or else Alex Schoknecht would have been on hand to guard the copter against what was obviously an act of Feissian sabotage. Now, though, you can bet that a quick howdy-do by his own mortality will have Cohick sitting up and taking notice. Indeed, unless TV and Hollywood action films have lied to us all these years (perish the thought!), Cohick is even now plotting his cold, exacting revenge. So the question now is, will an Uzi-toting Schoknecht be the instrument of Cohickian retribution?