Excuses, Excuses, Excuses (4/29/03)

So just where the holy heck have we been, you loudly demand? Alas, 'tis a tale far too long, too epic, too bursting with entertainment value to be wedged into the confines of this sorry ol' soap. Besides, if we told you the unexpurgated truth about our adventures lo these past eleven weeks, you'd laugh, you'd cry, you'd finally know what it is to taste the divine... and we're not licensed by the FCC to dish out Cosmic Oneness and Inner Peace. (We can, however, tell you that the divine tastes a little like chicken.) Nevertheless, we'll give you the short version to chew on: pesky lemurs. 'Nuff said, right?

We'd also like to take a moment to dispel a few of the rumors we've seen swirling around as to the nature of our sudden unexplained disappearance. No, none of the AtAT staff has been afflicted with SARS, flesh-eating bacteria, or fatal nose warts. No, we're not mounting a silent protest against the cancellation of Firefly. No, Steve Jobs is not blackmailing us into silence; we've already come clean about that unfortunate misunderstanding with the bottle of Jack Daniels and the duck wearing a tutu, so he's no longer got anything on us. And lastly, we did not-- repeat, DID NOT-- sell out to Microsoft. Uh-uh. No way, no how.

Because, frankly, what Bill was offering was tantamount to a slap in the face. What does he mean, we're not qualified to sit on the board of directors?

So are we back in the saddle? Not by a long shot. Things are just as stupid busy as ever, time continues to pass at an ever-accelerating rate (curse you, Einstein! EIIIINNNSTEEEIIIIINNN!!!!), money keeps dwindling so resources occasionally need to be spent on actual paying gigs (incidentally, did anyone see Jack's April Fool's article in this month's MacAddict? Just curious), and those pesky lemurs will be back as soon as they figure out that the "AtAT staff members" they've got cornered in the tool shed are actually clever decoys crafted of mashed potatoes, wire clothes hangers, and ACE bandages. Still, you can expect sporadic broadcasts for now, and we're doing our best to eke out a daily routine that actually allows for both AtAT production and at least four hours of sleep a night. Dare to dream.

Okay, okay, fine, we admit it: we were really just seeing how long we'd need to be off the air before Rockwood finally did another comic about us. So if you've spent the past eleven weeks gnawing off your own limbs in withdrawal, go blame those guys.

SceneLink (3916)
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The above scene was taken from the 4/29/03 episode:

April 29, 2003: We're back-- maybe. Well, probably not. We'll see. Meanwhile, yesterday's new iPods are finally making us ache for a trade-in, and iTunes 4's Music Store is a reality (and a shiny one at that), but the implementation could maybe use a little work...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3917: Uh, Is It Christmas Yet? (4/29/03)   Okay, here we go, people: all of you who own the original 5 GB iPod like ourselves can officially give in to New Model Envy. Up 'til now, we've been pretty successful at keeping that malady at bay; after all, the upgrades to the product line thus far haven't been all that spectacular...

  • 3918: FOUR Ace of Base Albums! (4/29/03)   While we were pretty darn out of touch for the past couple of months (How out of touch? Well, let's put it this way: isn't it nice to know that Mail's nifty unread messages counter in its Dock icon works just fine on four-digit numbers?...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1250 votes)

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