What's that? You need drama? Why, we gotcher drama right here, buddy! That's right, folks, the drought has finally broken, and we're just revelling in it, running around outside naked in the downpour, gulping down that sweet, lifegiving stuff by the bucketful and letting it soak right into our skin. Figuratively speaking, of course. Well, actually, okay, one of us is running around the AtAT compound without pants. (Hint: it's not who you think it is.)

Why all the pantsless reverie, you ask? Because the Apple world is currently being shaken to its core by a controversy so provocative, so bitterly divisive that the very fabric of our community is in danger of being torn right down the middle-- and, of course, since trading in human strife and misery is our bread and butter, we're chowing down like it's All-You-Can-Eat Tuesday down at Shecky's Waffle Hut. We speak, of course, of Apple's decision to rename one of its latest and most buzzworthy products, and everyone alive will never forget where they were when they first heard that the iPod Photo is being reborn as... the iPod photo.

Yes, as faithful viewer frozen tundra was first to inform us and as breathlessly reported at iPodlounge, the iPod Photo was barely on the market three weeks before Apple decided to change the capitalization of its name. This is, of course, a polarizing issue not unlike religion, platform choice, and Original or Crispy Skin, only inspiring even bloodier conflict between warring pro- and anti-lowercase factions. The hardest part of the whole thing is that both sides make compelling arguments; while proponents of the new name cite consistency with the iPod mini's nomenclature as the primary reason for the change, the move's detractors insist that while all-lowercase letters make thematic sense for the "mini," renaming the largest iPod in the line-up to match makes as little sense as Crystal Pepsi.

Even as the debate rages on, however, Apple quietly continues editing its web site to reflect the "New, Improved Lowercase 'p.'" Believe it or not, Apple has even gone so far as to edit the title of the original iPod Photo press release to use the new capitalization; at broadcast time, Google's cache confirmed that the title originally used the old spelling. Holy revisionism, Batman! (Strangely enough, when last we checked, the press release itself contained the original capitalization throughout. Sounds like Apple's a little conflicted about the change, too.)

Needless to say, riots have already broken out in most major metropolitan areas, and One Infinite Loop is under attack by rampaging mobs of foam-flecked iPod Photo classicists bearing torches and pitchforks (for some reason). Cooler heads are calling for peace, noting that early adopters shouldn't feel orphaned by the change, but instead blessed to be a member of an exclusive new economic ruling class; the value of iPod Photo packaging featuring the original capitalization has surely skyrocketed among collectors since the announcement, and no doubt it'll soon fetch winning eBay bids upwards of $4 million apiece. Sadly, though, this knowledge has done little to placate the teeming masses calling for an immediate restoration of the iPod photo to its "One True Capitalization," and we fear that the worst violence is yet to come.

Next up: the iPod u2 special edition. Heaven help us all.